The Gift of Ho'oponopono

I learned a practice from a tradition called Ho 'oponopono that you might be interested in. It's very simple, very powerful, and easy to remember. You can go deep with it rather quickly, bringing lightness and healing quite soon to your heart and mind. One of the central exercises - you could call it a personal discipline - one of the primary gifts of Ho'oponopono, is a very effective forgiveness exercise.

This simple exercise from Ho'oponopono (or "making right") has five basic parts. First, bring to mind something that's bothering you. It can be anything at all, a worry, a physical pain, a sad memory, a friend, someone you're not at peace with, anyone, anything at all.

Begin by saying to this worry, or to this person, "I love you." You can say this out loud at first, but you can also do the entire exercise silently, whispering inwardly, as if the person is present to your inner voice, or even visually present to the imagination if you like. Stay with this until you feel the phrase settle in a bit, "I love you."

Then, to whatever comes up next, say, "I'm sorry." It doesn't have to be specific, just say, "I'm sorry."

Then ask with an honest heart, "please forgive me." These are very powerful words, "please forgive me..."

To complete the prayerful exercise, simply say, "thank you."

Express gratitude for the opportunity to heal, for this opportunity to be released from the sadness, from the hurt, the woundedness that life so often serves up, even in completely innocent circumstances. It's also helpful to understand that your gratitude extends to being thankful for being allowed to release another, to make their healing more likely, more sure. Gratitude for the privilege to help another is an experience of our connectedness in creation.

This can be personalized, simply by using the person's name, or maybe addressing for instance, a heartache or headache that's bothering you. You can say, for instance: "I love you, Jason," or "I love you, dear headache." "I love you, my friend." This simple phrase takes on new meaning when used for healing this way.

A beloved's name can be used throughout: "I love you, Donna... I'm sorry, Donna... Please forgive me, Donna. Thank you..." You can repeat the phrases, for as long as you feel it's helping. We all carry more hidden and seemingly insignificant complaints than we can remember or address in the hustle and bustle of our lives.

I sometimes whisper these phrases as I'm going to sleep at night. After I've repeated them with the people who come to mind, I might notice the little aches and pains in my body. Saying "I love you" to my knees, to my muscles, to my heart, then expressing gratitude, this is a kind of self healing and brings greater sensitivity to not only our own bodies, but the physical experiences of others as well.

I like to consider the phrasings creatively on occasion, especially since I'm sometimes unsure I'm being properly respectful of another tradition, or if I'm not feeling especially confident at the time.

For example, I might say to a teacher of Ho'oponopono - in my imagination: "I love you teacher... I'm sorry I haven't studied more... please forgive me for just jumping in and trying this... I hope you don't hold this against me. Please help me. I'm sorry. Thank you." I've felt an inner freedom in my own embellishments this way, and a restful permission to let go of all my grievances and misgivings.

It doesn't have to be a formal process, or formulaic, to have effects, in my experience. This four phrase practice is only one variation on an ancient Hawaiian healing practice, a personal expression of one of the prayers for healing taught in this tradition.

A close friend told me about this and I did some searching on the web, once I learned how to spell it. It's been taught for centuries on the islands of Hawaii, part of the Huna religion, making relations right within the native communities. One of its present living teachers, Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len has become known for his extraordinary healing work with patients at a hospital for the criminally insane, where patients previously written off as hopeless experienced some unexplainably complete recoveries.

Ho'oponopono requires a sincere heart, and a willingness to take 100% responsibility for all our judgments, all our perceptions, all our experiences. Once you begin experiencing the peace and graceful release this practice brings, it easily becomes a touchstone in your spiritual practice. You begin understanding that each of us is responsible for all that we perceive, all that we imagine. We are even responsible for those who seem never to understand.

Another thing, once you start practicing this, you're likely to meet others who have tried it. Within weeks of learning a couple basic Ho'oponopono exercises, I met four more people who have attended workshops or have been practicing some variation themselves. There's something about the simplicity and focused clarity this brings that resonates naturally with others.

I mentioned doing this when going to sleep. It works great for letting go of the day, for inviting restful thoughts and pleasant dreams. It also has a calming effect when driving, especially on the way to meetings where there may be people you aren't yet comfortable with. On the drive, simply imagine being there, meeting those you expect to be there, while also offering the blessing silently to those who you don't yet know. It helps clear expectations and anxieties, and it's much more likely you'll be in a space that's welcoming and friendly when you arrive. Who can't use a little more of that?

So I offer you this practice, imagining we are already good friends. I'm clearly not an expert, yet I suspect the teachers appreciate people knowing even the least little bit about Ho'oponopono. The kind energy and love, the forgiveness and gratitude considered this way offer a sampling of the experience that when given an honest try will very likely inspire more exploration.

This world can use as much healing as we can find.